I am NOT a Martyr!!!

I refuse to be a martyr to my own life.   Martyr may sound extreme and I don’t mean a martyr to my death, just a martyr in the sense of struggling with what’s most important and what I need and maybe even what I want.

To overcome this, I need to believe I can do so much more with this ultimate opportunity called “My Life”; that I am ready to embark on my odyssey.  I want this!  This is not an easy process, and I still have moments of panic and paralyzing fear, but my “moments of clarity” are coming more often.  It’s hard to admit that I haven’t accomplished those dreams I had when I was younger; at one point I was going to be a famous author and would own a Lamborghini by the time I was 25, (anyone who knows how safety conscious I am knows that a Lamborghini would have been wasted with me!), then I had wanted to be a  CPA (I know! but numbers in ledgers and spreadsheets are really COOL!), and the ever-present desire to own an ice cream shop (purely selfish reasons!). What happened? I do not have that answer-and at this point I am not sure the “why didn’t I” is as important as “why not, do it”!

So, with only twenty-nine (29) days, (five (5) Mondays) remaining in 2012, I close my eyes, take a deep breath and prepare for my “epic odyssey” to begin.  I look ahead with excitement, anticipation as well as absolute fear of the unknown, hoping I am up to this challenge.  My gut tells me I am, I am just waiting for my brain to believe this will be what legends are made of; this is my Rock Star moment and I will rise far above what I ever thought was possible! 

                “Challenge is a Dragon with a gift in its mouth….Tame the Dragon and the gift is yours”

                Noella Evans

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